I’ve never been braver than the moment when I let them take my baby, in her orange hospital gown, down the hallway to that OR. The scariest thing I’ve ever done is let my infant be whisked into another room to be placed under anesthesia without me to endure a four-hour operation. They said her injury was lifelong, but in order to regain as much function as possible, she would need surgery. Trusted doctors would later tell us my daughter’s condition couldn’t be improved without surgical intervention. Despite the childbirth classes, support from friends and family, and all the ways I prepared, I knew this was a fear there was no choice but to face when it came time. Once dreams become a reality and you’re faced with the prospect of birthing your first child, it’s hard not to be scared. I wanted a daughter for many years before I ever had one. Worse yet, he was supposed to be interested in me too! What if that wasn’t the case? What if it didn’t work out? Something inside of me said It’s OK to be scared. It was terrifying to think about showing up to meet a stranger, especially one I was supposed to be romantically interested in. When my husband and I met, it was because friends insisted on setting us up on a blind date. I always pray before and during any flight I take. There’s nothing like the plane taking off from the ground to make me feel small and out of control. For instance, flying on airplanes has always caused my palms to sweat. More than three decades of life lessons have taught me a great deal about being brave and overcoming fear usually the hard way. It’s knowing that you are, but doing it anyway.” It makes me think of the saying, “Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. She’d have to face her fear and go down the slide. If she wanted to get down to the ground, she needed to be brave. The rock wall she effortlessly climbed in order to get there could not be scaled down the same way. Or not if you don’t feel ready.” RELATED: 3 Affirmations For Building Brave, Beautiful Daughtersīut now, as she peered down at me through big crocodile tears, we both knew there simply wasn’t any other choice. You don’t ever have to do it! Not unless you want to. I replied at the time, “I know, baby doll. You only see the light as you approach the end. And, because of its dark blue shade, you’re mostly in the dark while you’re going down. Once you are in the slide you can’t see out since it is fully enclosed-if, for example, you were looking for reassurance from your mommy. It spirals and twists from that tippy-top, third level of the play structure all the way down to the ground. She once said, as we passed by, “I hate that slide!” It was only after she’d climbed up to the highest level of the play structure that she realized that the only way to get back to safety was to go down the dark blue tunnel slide. She was glaring down at me from the top of the tallest tower in the entire playground with palpable fear in her eyes. There she was, my typically cautious 3-year-old, up higher than she’d ever been by herself.
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